Our son Nate remains in Provo this year to finish out high
school as drum major for his marching band. Two years ago when he became drum
major elect he invited me to go on tour with the group his senior year …this
was the trip that mattered most, and now I know why.
Within weeks of his election to drum major, Nate learned
that Timpview's revered band director of 22 years, Dr. David Fullmer, would be
moving on to coach University bands and that our family may be moving two states
away for a new job. It pained Nate that so much change would happen at once and
that he’d have to choose between finishing what he’d started two years earlier
and having solid family support his senior year. What to do? Fly off and restart in Oregon? Or stay and see his hard work as drum major come to fruition? He made the decision to finish what he began.
As a Mom, I’ve have had both kinds of tears over Nate’s involvement
with Dr. Fullmer and his tightly run ship. At first there
were tears of joy as my 14 year old son threw himself into summer band, waking
early, sweating it to memorize scales, pass off music and work it in the hot
summer sun. This was teenage military boot camp and what mother of teens
doesn’t smile upon emerging self-discipline? None, I say.
My heart warmed as Nate chided our family with Fullmerisms
like “to be on time is to be late Mom. The only way to be truly on time is to
be early.” On the day of his first (and last) tardy, he was called to
midfield with other late teammates and told to “raise your hand if it was
someone else’s fault you were late today.” Those who did were told to drop and
give him fifty pushups. “No one is responsible for your behavior or your
performance but you. Is that clear?” Phew. So glad he didn’t raise his hand,
Nate and the group began running laps around the practice field to let that
life lesson sink in deeper still.
But I think I may have cried a sad tear or two when I'm the one being taught by Dr. Fullmer thru our son. When he censures me in fluent Fullmer, I usually smile..but then sometimes not. What seems preposterously impertinent one second melts into the raw awareness that, "wait a minute, wait a minute...he might actually be right. Maybe I do need to clean up my act or remember that 'it's not all about me.'
Timpview has been known over the decades as
the band that enters a competition, sweeps the awards (even from much bigger schools), and then sometimes-- doesn’t stick around for the honors. It happens. They wow the
crowd with difficult music, great show design, great musicianship, artistic elements and
precision footwork. And they remain one of only two high school bands in the state
to wear white shoes with dark pants because they WANT their fancy footwork to be
seen and appreciated. Yep, they are THAT band.
The same was true of this band tour. Timpview, now under the
direction of Jared Hearld and a completely new staff, entered the Red Rocks
Band Competition in St. George, which is considered by Utah high school bands
as the State Championship. They came, they blew everyone away…and there was
no one left behind to receive the overall award or the caption award for best
drumline.
No, the band was gathering back at their hotel for a night
of reverie and honor. It was Seniors night (the bandimony meeting) where
upperclassmen remember and share band wisdom of the ages with the rest of their
band family. They laughed, they cried. It moved us all.
The next day at the Las Vegas Invitational, an even bigger
band competition, a family recognized our tshirts and asked why
no one remained behind the night before to receive the awards in St. George. I
was at a loss for sure. It seemed a little snobbish to me that we split the
scene. I knew Nate missed Sadie Hawkins the weekend before to stay behind and receive awards at the Davis Cup Tournament, but this time there were even more significant honors to bestow back at the hotel.
After a thrilling qualifier and then finals with schools
from Utah, Nevada, and California, Timpview placed fourth with less than a 3-point spread from first to fourth. It was tight at the top.
Parents and staff watched intently for each super-cool trick or stunt to come off well. We tried to anticipate what the strengths and weaknesses of this years show would be to the judges, and wondered what could be done to build the program for next year.
The next morning at breakfast, band members had the voice recordings of
field judges and were listening for feedback. Being a personal improvement
junkie myself I longed to be right there listening but was involved elsewhere in the
room. I asked Nate if he’d like to go over and listen in and he responded, “No, it’s never been about the awards Mom or what the judges think.” WHAT? You
kiddin' me? You reach this level of excellence and you don’t even want to know
what the judges are saying???
“No,” he said. “There are really only three factors in
winning any competition a person enters and two of them you have absolutely no
control over. They are: 1) whoever shows up to compete with you, 2) the
preferences of the judges, and 3) your performance. It was never about the
awards Mom, just the performance. We do it all for the crowd…and that’s all
that matters.”
He left me…in shock and awe. In another minute or two I knew the
truth by how it felt. Yet it was uncommon truth. I felt that too. I batted the
idea around in my head over the long drive home.
To pursue the marks of success (ie, awards, honors,
$$$) resonated with something profound that Victor Frankl observed after years in a Nazi work
camp.
“Don’t aim at success—the more you
aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success,
like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the
unintended side-effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than
oneself.
Happiness must happen, and the same
holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. Listen
to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to
the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long
run—in the long run, I say, success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten
to think of it.” (Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning, p.xiv)
And so it is. Dr. Fullmer got it. Nate gets it. And now I’m
beginning to understand.
Find your purpose, your inner “why” and pursue it with all
you’ve got. For Timpview’s Band it is giving the crowd their very best
show, every time.
Success in your endeavor and the encumbant happiness must
follow precisely because you are so absorbed in your purpose that you’ve let go all thoughts of “am I happy now?” or “am I successful yet?”
Work hard to make the world a better place because of your gifts, and in time you’ll have both success and happiness… because you’ve forgotten to think of them.
Work hard to make the world a better place because of your gifts, and in time you’ll have both success and happiness… because you’ve forgotten to think of them.
Thanks for sharing with me!
Shameless Plug: Armed with my magical "dirt drink" Exodus GI Cleanser, and Feel Good Foods Glutamine, on the first chilly night I administered to members of the Flute section who'd been sidelined by tummy troubles and closing airways. When Nate learned what'd happened, he apologized to his teammates for the gritty texture and added, "but it does work". Within about 10 minutes that hole in the flute formation was again filled and the band marched on. On day two I began getting requests to mix the drink for members of the trumpet section and then drumline. Even a few of the staff and band parents were blessed by these ready gifts from the earth to quickly relieve upset stomach and aching joints and muscles. Woot, woot for The Yeast Beaters Cleanse and Timpview Marching Band!
Here is Nate's final show with marching band. Enjoy!
Shameless Plug: Armed with my magical "dirt drink" Exodus GI Cleanser, and Feel Good Foods Glutamine, on the first chilly night I administered to members of the Flute section who'd been sidelined by tummy troubles and closing airways. When Nate learned what'd happened, he apologized to his teammates for the gritty texture and added, "but it does work". Within about 10 minutes that hole in the flute formation was again filled and the band marched on. On day two I began getting requests to mix the drink for members of the trumpet section and then drumline. Even a few of the staff and band parents were blessed by these ready gifts from the earth to quickly relieve upset stomach and aching joints and muscles. Woot, woot for The Yeast Beaters Cleanse and Timpview Marching Band!
Nate’s favorite performance of his high school band career was their 2011 show at the Las Vegas Invitational, Sophomore year. Nate's the second Tuba (Sousaphone) from the right at the start. After that, good luck. Ha!
Here is Nate's final show with marching band. Enjoy!
Great story of the band tour. We had a similar experience last year. I am very grateful for the influence of that band program on Ryan and Andrew.
ReplyDeleteKeep the blog going. I read the whole thing this morning. I Mis your family, but am glad for the experiences you are having and to share them through your wonderful writing.
Craig
Bonnie Dickinson November 26, 2013 at 6:23 AM
ReplyDeleteDear Jonell- What a lovely surprise to find your beautiful writing in my inbox this morning! This idea, that my purpose in life will be lived out more creatively and effortlessly, by the surrender of my small designs of "progress or success" to something much less concrete, much more poetic, has been in my thoughts lately. Could it be a nuance of "in losing your life, you will find it"?
I miss your family, especially your beautiful Lynley, but WOW! what a great adventure you are living! It is so inspiring to see you and your family living the life that truly reflects your heart. God bless you!
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